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December 02, 2006

Comments

Amy

Hmmm...that's a toughie. I'd probably go through with legal actions though. I would want to prevent this from happening to other people.

Good luck!

Amy

Lola LB

Take her to court. If she's been doing this for a long time, she knew what she was doing was wrong. She could get her own email account with no problems with Yahoo, or use her cell phone to get a Gmail invite. It's not like she has to pay $1000 dollars to get her own email account.

Mo

I think you should press charges. This doesn't sound like some daft kid playing a prank. She knows what she is doing and appears to be using your account with malicious intent if she is sending viruses to your friends. I think you're being much more considerate of her than she has been of you.

Hope you get this sorted out soon.

Sherri

It is a tough question/situation, but I think I'd do it. If she's doing it to you, chances are she's doing it to others too, and if she's not turned in, she'll keep on doing it. Best of luck to you & (((((hugs))))) too!!

Mintyfresh

This is crazy; I can't believe such a thing happens--and by someone you know, no less!! I think you should press charges at the very least, even if you don't see it through to a conviction (is that possible?) just to show her how incredibly wrong and awful this is.

senseidai

I agree with everyone else-you must press charges. If she loses her job and/or gets jail time, that's not your fault. It's hers for doing the crime in the first place. If word gets out that she was caught maybe it will deter others from trying the same thing. Good luck to you!

Elemmaciltur

You should press charges, take a mark, I'd say.

I don't tolerate this kind of thing...so yes, if I were you, I'd press charges and see to it that this doesn't happen again, not to you, not to anyone else.

Stephanie

I think you should press charges. She knows she is doing wrong and she needs to be stopped. If she loses her job, it is her fault not yours. She has to be accountable for her wrongdoing! Keep us posted and I'll keep this in my prayers.

Jennah

Hi there, just thought I'd weigh in. I probably would be afraid to press charges. It's like knowing you are going to get someone in trouble and you feel bad, that the outcome will be far harsher than what the crime was (a few viruses that were caught and a few password changes compared to 5 years or more in jail).

But the thing is, that this woman made the conscious decision to take something of you away from you. If she had robbed your license out of your purse or your key to break into your house, it still couldn't have been a more truer act of personal invasion. Just because there's no tangible/physical goods doesn't make the crime any less real or valid in my eyes. The fact that this woman holds a government job, frankly, scares me.

Like someone said earlier, the consequences to these actions were chosen by her when she chose the behavior. It doesn't make you less of a person for holding her accountable for her choices.

I hope you find some peace in this stressful situation. Take care.

Jeanie

Hi Jennah -- You are exactly right when you say that this situation is just as bad as invading someone's home illegally. I'm afraid I have to disagree with you though that a punishment of up to 5 years in jail is harsher than this crime(s) deserves. If you happen to read the USPS Obstruction of Correspondence code (hyperlinked above) you'll see why; not to mention the other laws that were repeatedly broken by fraudulently obtaining my password. Until it happens to you personally, I really don't think you can fully understand just how much of a crime it is. I think though that your perspective is somewhat typical of some people who (for some reason) do not consider the invasion of email equivalent to the invasion of postal mail. Fortunately, the courts are aware of the seriousness of these crimes and are judging cases accordingly.

Sherri

One more thing - my 12 yo dd had her personal page on a 'teen site' hacked into, and it is scarey ... not just for her, but for us, her parents as well ... people like this NEED to be stopped!!!

Glamaw/ aka Queen E, Lady of Laughter

Sweetheart may I add my two cents worth? This woman obviously has some sort of mental or emotional disorder. Any normal person would not think of intruding on another persons personal business or private corresponde. She need help, can you get her this help? If you cannot, she will continue to do this over and over again.
Also, something to think about is her son. If she is in jail, will he be sent to a foster home or will some of her innocent family have to raise him? My first instinct (as a Scorpio), says to press charges. This is a form of rape. My second instinct says she is a sicko and should be helped.
I wonder if she even knows wrong from right. Does she attend church?
One other thing. You have told me that she holds a government job.Are our tax dollars paying her to do this? Do we really want someone with this lack of morals in that capacity? Can she be doing this to other people or worse? Maybe they have some kind of counseling program at her work.
I guess if it were me, I would have to go for justice. I would already be filling out the forms to throw her sorry bu.. in jail.
I am glad the decision is yours and not mine. It is a tough one.

Alicia

I know it's tough but you have to remember that by not pressing charges, you are not helping her at all. This may be the bottom she needs to hit in order to get help. Plus, as someone who has been a victim of identity theft, you have to think of the other people she may be hurting too. Chances are that you are not the only one she is doing this to or has done this to. The consequences are hers to deal with and you shouldn't fret over them. The kindest thing you can do for both of you is to pursue this with grace and dignity.

Tara

I'm somewhat of a lurker. I love your blog (& Crochet Cast).
I felt the need to post a comment this morning. I have to go with the majority here. This is such a personal violation. I understand your hesitation to press charges, but pressing charges does not mean she will end up in jail - that is for the court to decide. She might actually be able to plea bargin and get the counseling she needs. Just my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

pixienyc

Hi! I recently discovered Crochet Cast, and love it!

I have to agree with the majority here, she commited a crime against you. Also, you are probably not the only person she is doing this to, and most people are not tech savvy enough to figure out what is happening, much less who is doing it. She needs to be stopped.

Mia

There are two sides to consider. But the most important one is this - she did it to your email account, how many other email accounts did she hack into? Authorities need to contacted and charges pressed.

Clyn-eek

Dear Jeannie,
You have to take the right legal matters and let justice prevail. However you need to not get yourself so stressed out especially this time of the year. Remember what this time of the year really means. I know it's hard to forgive, but at least try to endure the situation for every loving person around you. The person that did this to you will get what she deserves in God's time.
Meanwhile you and your family have a very Merry Christmas.

Jeanie

Hi Clyn-eek -- Would you believe that I have complete peace about this situation? God is so good! And you're absolutely right, this season is ALL about Him and I most definitely am not forgetting that.

JessaLu

Is this someone you can confront with 'the evidence'? If so, I'd talk to her (and bring someone with you that you can trust in case things get ugly) and I'd maybe give her another chance depending on how that conversation went.

However, there is a part of me that, when I put myself in your shoes, is scared to death that the email theft is only the tip of the iceberg. Have you checked your credit report lately? If she knows all this info about you, odds are she could get a credit card or loan in your name with no problem. If she did it online, she wouldn't even have to provide photo ID.

I totally agree with you that hacking someone's email is just as bad as stealing their mail. You receive very sensitive information in emails sometimes - like passwords for other sites, etc.

On second thought - just press charges. Let her be as surprised at being arrested as you were when you found out she stole your email.

If she has a child, you also have to think about the example she is setting for that child. He or she might be better off if another relative (with better values) raises him.

Making the decision to press charges isn't easy - when Dobby was much younger she was 'flashed' by a mentally challenged young man at a gas station in town. His father did not want me to press charges because he was afraid of what would happen to his son. I replied, "YOUR son violated MY daughter. What will happen to her when she sees me not stand up for HER rights as a person? How will that impact her decisions in the future? She had the right to not see a p*nis at the tender age of 10 and your son had the right to keep his IN HIS PANTS." I did press charges however, I'm not sure what exactly the outcome was since it was in the hands of the State at that point and they were not denying that it happened. I truly hope he got the help he needed.

Anyway (now that I've written a book), there are alot of things to think about regarding pressing charges or not pressing charges and ultimately the decision is up to you. YOU should not feel guilty about how this will effect those in her life, because SHE started these events in motion HERSELF - YOU didn't. Therefore, SHE is responsible for this situation and should pay the consequences for it accordingly.

Cheryl

hey jeanie,

this comment is coming to you from the cozy Mae S. Bruce library because our computer is still in repair with Dell because of a virus. So hey, not only is that just plain strange and stalker-like of her, but it's a pain when you get a virus on your computer. If she's sending people you know emails and spreading a virus, it really sounds like she knows what she's doing. And that is just not normal. It sounds like she has too much time on her hands. Well anyway, I popped in here to check email and say hey and I am angry for you. I think the really unsettling part for me would be knowing that she repeatedly and knowingly did this. I agree with your mom, I don't envy you on this one. You'll do what's right though. Maybe I can get our computer back soon and email from home instead of the LIBRARY!! Augh!!!
take care!
Cheryl

April

I'm sorry that this has been going on. I'd think that a person that knew this much about you, should also know what you and your family have been through these last several months and might have had SOME human decency enough not to put you through any more stress. Instead, this person decided to use this as a hopeful opportunity that you may be too distracted to notice and take advantage of you while you're down, so to speak. That makes this whole thing particularly despicable in my opinion. Working in a government job makes her VERY dangerous, as well.

filambulle

Dear, you must put the affaire between the hands of Justice. It is both your right and duty, I am afraid. But you won't be the one who makes the decision for the punishment - or cure - she'll get. That is the judge's task.
Please don't feel guilty. She is the guilty one.
hugs from Switzerland

none

hi nice post.would you let us know how and what efforts you took to get the IP address's from yahoo.i am in similar situation where i believe my account has been comparamised,but how to get thsi info from yahoo?does this needs a court order?and how long does yahoo keeps this info?.how many years months? plzz a detailed reply would help.

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